“But it was a relief telling someone and probably good for me to have to say out loud.” “I actually don’t think we ever really talked about it again,” she says. In Meghan’s case, she appreciated her friend’s standing offer to revisit the subject at a later date. While that may be frustrating and upsetting, you can’t force it. It’s also possible that your friend will never be ready to open up to you about this, she adds. It might take weeks or months and multiple tries, Zendegui says. You can always gently bring it up again later. Respect that, Zendegui says, and extend an open invitation to talk anytime. Your friend might not be ready to jump into a lengthy conversation or agree to get help off the bat. “It’s OK if you don’t want to talk about it now. They don’t need to commit for life, just to that first step.ĥ. Since the idea of indefinite therapy can be intimidating, you can also try what Zendegui calls the “foot-in-the-door” technique and propose that your friend just calls somebody to see what they can offer or tries an initial consult. You can say something like, “I know therapy was really helpful for so-and-so when they were having a hard time,” Zendegui says.

Try mentioning people in your life or your friend’s life who have gone to therapy (as long as those people are open about it so that you’re not invading their privacy). Let’s say your friend seems resistant to therapy, though. Doing this can also help set boundaries between you and your friend, which can be important if you’re feeling overwhelmed, Zendegui says. “Once you listen and offer support and caring, the best way to help is to get your friend to a responsible professional,” Dr. Stopping the behavior and learning new coping mechanisms usually requires the help of a mental health professional, so your priority should be to guide your friend to a clinician.

Self-harm is a complex issue that often comes with other behavioral and mental health problems like dangerous substance use and depression, according to NAMI.

Mean things to say to your friend